Journal of Child and Family Studies https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-019-01453-1 ORIGINAL PAPER Children’s and Parents’ Perceptions of Vulnerability as Weakness: Associations with Children’s Well-Being Jessica L. Borelli 1 ● Patricia A. Smiley 2 ● Gerin Gaskin 3 ● Phoebe T. Pham 1 ● Meghan Kussman 4 ● Ben Shahar 5 © Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2019 Abstract Objectives The importance of vulnerability expression for well-being is a prominent theme in contemporary psychology, but empirical support for this claim is lacking, including evidence for the belief that males are less open to states of vulnerability than females, and that people who are more judgmental of vulnerability experience difficulties in emotion regulation, and psychological well-being. Robust theoretical perspectives (attachment theory, emotion socialization) hold that children’s views regarding vulnerability originate within the parent-child relationship; here we empirically examine parents’ and children’s views regarding vulnerability. Methods We explored school-aged children’s (8 to 12 years) and their parents’ (N = 121) meta-emotional distress regarding vulnerability, as well as their perceptions of experiencing vulnerability as weak or strong, and their affective and behavioral reactions to vulnerability. We also compared perceptions of physical versus emotional vulnerability. Results There were few gender differences in perceptions of vulnerability; however, children and parents evaluated physical vulnerability more favorably than emotional vulnerability. While meta-emotional distress to vulnerability was not con- sistently associated with emotion dysregulation or psychopathology, perceiving vulnerability as weak and as a reason to distance oneself, to not like the experiencer (children) or to discourage such expression (parents), were robustly associated with depressive symptoms and rejection sensitivity. Conclusions Building relationships in which expressions of vulnerability—especially emotional vulnerability (states of fear and sadness)—are accepted and perceived as a means of building emotional resilience comports with attachment theory and with emotion- and attachment-based therapy principles. Keywords Vulnerability ● Emotion ● Attachment ● Parent-child ● Middle childhood ● Depression Brown’s theorizing regarding the power and fear of emo- tional vulnerability was nothing short of ground-breaking (Brown 2012, 2015). Her work had a significant impact on public awareness of the importance of emotional expression and experience of vulnerable emotional states in which we risk being emotionally open, exposed, and without defense. When people are emotionally vulnerable, they allow themselves to experience and reveal feelings such as shame, loneliness, disappointment, fear, and sadness. They allow others to really see them and thus, they live authentically. People tend to avoid vulnerable emotions and conceal them from others in order not to be negatively judged or per- ceived as weak, soft, or incompetent. However, Brown (2012, 2015) argued that risking feeling and sharing vul- nerability is critical for developing intimate relationships with parents, spouses, and children. Despite the wide popularity of Brown’s writings regarding the importance of emotional vulnerability, she did not link her claims to psychological theory, nor is there a body of research evi- dence to support her assertions. In our view, attachment theory (Bowlby 1973, 1980) is the theory of interpersonal relationships and functioning that is most pertinent to the study of vulnerability, particularly as it has been applied to couples and family therapy models, including emotion- focused therapy (Greenberg and Goldman 2008; Greenberg * Jessica L. Borelli jessica.borelli@uci.edu 1 University of California, Irvine, CA, USA 2 Pomona College, Claremont, CA, USA 3 Claremont Graduate University, Claremont, CA, USA 4 Pepperdine University, Malibu, CA, USA 5 The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Israel 1234567890();,: 1234567890();,: