10.1177/0146167205280910 PERSONALITY AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY BULLETIN Rholes et al. / ATTACHMENT AND PARENTING
Avoidant Attachment and the Experience of Parenting
W. Steven Rholes
Texas A&M University
Jeffry A. Simpson
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities Campus
Mike Friedman
Texas A&M University
Guided by attachment theory, this research investigated connec-
tions between avoidant attachment styles and the experience of
parenting after the birth of a couple’s first child. One hundred
and six couples completed a battery of measures approximately 6
weeks before and 6 months after the birth of their first child. As
anticipated, parents with more avoidant attachment styles expe-
rienced greater stress after the birth of their child and perceived
parenting as less satisfying and personally meaningful. Attach-
ment theory maintains that adult attachment styles should
affect relationships with adults and with one’s children. The
present findings provide some of the first evidence that self-
reported adult romantic attachment styles, which have been the
focus of attachment research by social and personality psycholo-
gists, are systematically associated with parent-child relation-
ships. They also provide insight into the processes through which
secure and insecure attachment styles might be transmitted from
one generation to the next.
Keywords: attachment style; avoidance; transition to parenthood;
stress
It requires no great insight to realize that [people with
avoidant attachment styles] are deeply distrustful of
close relationships and terrified of allowing themselves
to rely on anyone else, in some cases in order to avoid the
pain of being rejected and in others to avoid being sub-
jected to pressure to become someone else’s caretaker.
—John Bowlby, The Making and Breaking
of Affectional Bonds (1979, p. 138)
According to attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969), evo-
lutionary forces have created predispositions in human
infants to form strong emotional bonds to their care-
givers because such bonds increase infants’ chances of
survival. The normative states associated with this
evolved “attachment” system are feelings of vulnerability
when separated from attachment figures and a sense of
security when in their presence; the normative behavior
produced by the system is to seek physical and psycho-
logical proximity to attachment figures when distressed.
Experiences with caregivers, however, may alter the way
in which the attachment system operates. If an infant’s
efforts to seek comfort and security from caregivers in
times of distress are habitually rebuffed or if they elicit an
unpredictable mixture of acceptance and rejection,
insecure attachment patterns (avoidant-resistant or
anxious-resistant) typically develop (Ainsworth, Blehar,
Waters, & Wall, 1978; Bowlby, 1988; Main, Kaplan, &
Cassidy, 1985; van IJzendoorn, 1995). If comfort seeking
is routinely accepted, that is, if parenting is responsive to
an infant’s emotional states, secure attachments typically
develop (Ainsworth et al., 1978; De Wolff & van
IJzendoorn, 1997). When attachments are secure, the
normative states and behaviors associated with attach-
ment are readily apparent. In contrast, when attach-
ments are avoidant, infants are reluctant to seek comfort
from caregivers, and when they are anxious, caregivers
have little capacity to calm distress and create feelings of
security.
The social and personality research literature pro-
vides ample evidence in support of the view expressed in
275
Authors’ Note: This research was supported by National Institutes of
Health Grant MH49599-05. The first two authors contributed equally
to this research. The authors would like to thank Ramona Paetzold for
her incisive commentary. Please address correspondence to W. Steven
Rholes, Department of Psychology, Texas A&M University, CollegeSta-
tion, TX 77843-4235; e-mail: wsr@psyc.tamu.edu.
Editor’s Note: Timothy J. Strauman served as guest action editor for
this article.
PSPB, Vol. 32 No. 3, March 2006 275-285
DOI: 10.1177/0146167205280910
© 2006 by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc.