Reports Exhausting or exhilarating? Conflict as threat to interests, relationships and identities Nir Halevy a, ⁎, Eileen Y. Chou b , Adam D. Galinsky b a Stanford University, USA b Northwestern University, USA abstract article info Article history: Received 9 August 2011 Revised 31 October 2011 Available online 10 November 2011 Keywords: Interpersonal conflict Interest Relationship Identity Challenge appraisal Some conflicts are experienced as depleting and exhausting whereas others are experienced as stimulating and invigorating. We explored the possibility that the focus of perceived threat in conflict determines wheth- er it produces taxing stress or vitalizing arousal. Studies 1 and 2 established that attending to threats to in- terests, relationships, and identities during interpersonal conflict differentially relates to motivational goals, empathy and perspective-taking, femininity, and a collectivistic self-construal. Study 2 also found that perceived threats to relationships are associated with lower challenge appraisals and energy mobiliza- tion. Studies 3 and 4 experimentally manipulated threats to different targets and demonstrated causal effects of threat perceptions on self-reported energy mobilization and the consumption of comfort foods. Taken to- gether, these studies demonstrate that conflicts which threaten relationships are experienced as significantly more depleting than conflicts that threaten either tangible interests or elements of individuals' identities, and explain when, why and for whom conflict is exhausting. © 2011 Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Introduction Conflicts can be stressful and exhausting. Trapped in a lingering marital dispute or bogged down in a relationship conflict at work can lead to a depleted self and frazzled nerves. Consistent with this view, a recent review of the literature found evidence for “positive and moderate correlations between conflict at work and anxiety and frustration, between conflict at work and physical complaints, and between conflict at work and the exhaustion dimension of burn- out” (De Dreu, 2008; p. 13). However, conflicts can also be activating and invigorating. Athletes often experience a surge of energy during competitions and many find negotiations to be invigorating. Consis- tent with this view, Deutsch (1973, pp. 8–9) proposed that conflict “prevents stagnation, it stimulates interest and curiosity… it is the root of personal and social change. Conflict is often part of the process of testing and assessing oneself and, as such, may be highly enjoyable as one experiences the pleasure of the full and active use of one's ca- pacities”. Clearly, conflicts can sometimes produce taxing stress and at other times vitalizing arousal. The current research tests the novel hypothesis that whether con- flict exhausts or energizes depends on what is perceived to be threat- ened in conflict: tangible interests, social relationships, or elements of one's identity. The observation that conflict is inherently associated with perceptions of threat dates back to Maslow, who viewed conflict as emanating from “the direct deprivation, or thwarting, or danger to the basic needs” (1943a, p. 84). More recent frameworks have simi- larly called attention to the pivotal role that perceptions of threat play in various conflicts within as well as between individuals and groups (Berkowitz, 1993; Riek, Mania, & Gaertner, 2006; Shapiro & Neuberg, 2007). We propose that whether people perceive a conflict to pose a threat to their interests, relationships, or identities is a key differentiator for when conflict exhausts versus energizes. In the current research, our first studies empirically establish the conceptual distinction between perceived threats to interests, rela- tionships and identities in interpersonal conflict. Specifically, we demonstrate that the tendencies to attend to threats to interests, re- lationships and identities during interpersonal conflict differentially relate to stable individual differences in personal value priorities (Schwartz, 1992), interpersonal responsiveness (Davis, 1983), femi- ninity–masculinity (Bem, 1981), and individualism–collectivism (Triandis & Gelfand, 1998). We then use both correlational and exper- imental designs to explore whether perceived threats to these differ- ent targets determine the extent to which individuals experience their conflicts as taxing and depleting or as activating and energizing. Specifically, we test the hypothesis that conflicts that threaten rela- tionships are experienced as significantly more depleting and exhausting than conflicts that threaten either tangible interests or el- ements of individuals' identities. Interests, relationships, and identities as distinct concerns in conflict We define interpersonal conflict as a state of actual or perceived incompatibility between two or more individuals that poses a threat Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 48 (2012) 530–537 ⁎ Corresponding author at: Stanford Graduate School of Business, Stanford University, 655 Knight Way, Stanford, CA 94305-7298, USA. E-mail address: nhalevy@stanford.edu (N. Halevy). 0022-1031/$ – see front matter © 2011 Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2011.11.004 Contents lists available at SciVerse ScienceDirect Journal of Experimental Social Psychology journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/jesp