SUSI FERRARELLO Children Ruined My Career Neurophenomenology of Intersubjective Development in Early Motherhood Paradigmi XLIII, 2/2025, 231-250 ISSN 1120-3404 ISSNe 2035-357X © SOCIETÀ EDITRICE IL MULINO [Received September 1, 2024 – Accepted December 14, 2024] This article explores the widely discussed notion that children can hinder personal devel- opment, especially for women balancing family life with career aspirations. Many mothers express frustration about the impact of childcare responsibilities on their professional growth, challenging the notion that women can seamlessly manage both roles. This discus- sion delves into the profound physical and neurological changes women experience during pregnancy and early motherhood, often perceived as barriers to career progression. Utilizing Husserl’s phenomenology, the article examines the development of the intersubjective sen- sory motor schema in mothers, proposing that motherhood is not a loss of identity but a transformation into an embodied intersubjective being. The analysis includes insights into microchimerism and neuroplasticity, illustrating how these biological phenomena support the neuro-phenomenological understanding of motherhood. Ultimately, the article argues that these transformations redefine the mother’s sense of self and purpose, challenging traditional views and embracing a new perspective on identity and personal development. Keywords: Motherhood, Neurophenomenology, Intersubjectivity, Embodied Identity. 1. Introduction It happens every now and then that children are considered the road- block of personal development. Not long ago, a singer, Lily Allen catalyzed the attention of the media with a comment that seemingly expressed the common sentiment of women: “my children ruined my career”. It seems that her comment had a cathartic power for many women who similarly loved their children but felt them as a major obstruction for their profes- sional development. Feeling tired of the obsolete narrative that women can have both, that is, children and career, they felt it good to unmask this lie. It is not a secret that children can exert a destructive power on their parents’ lives; especially in a society that tends to leave parents alone in Susi Ferrarello, California State University, postal address ??????, susi.ferrarello@csueastbay.edu, https://orcid.org/0000-0003-4646-1454