ORIGINAL ARTICLE Safety in Intimate Partnerships: The Role of Appraisals and Threat Jason B. Whiting & Douglas B. Smith & Megan Oka & Gunnur Karakurt # Springer Science+Business Media, LLC 2012 Abstract For most intimate partners, safety is an important goal and basic need. How a partner perceives safety has an impact on what happens in the relationship, and this will in turn affect the responses from the other partner. Lack of safety can provoke negative emotions and actions which can lead to relationship deterioration and violence. However, little is known about this process from the insider ’ s perspec- tive. In this study, constructivist grounded theory methods were used to analyze interviews from individuals (n 0 37) to better understand individual appraisals of relational safety. The results include a theory that illustrates the process of relational safety and threat. This model articulates how certain relational conditions precede a perception of safety or threat, which then leads to corresponding actions. Impli- cations of the model include a focus on interaction and context when assessing for safety and abuse, as well as the importance of self regulation. Keywords Security . Protection . Aggression . Violence . Conflict . Relationships Introduction Some scholars suggest that we need more accurate, empirically-based theory on how intimate partnerships work (Gottman 1999; Knapp and Holman 2010). Specifically, how do they thrive, and how do they become unstable and unsafe? What are the early signs that a relationship is headed toward more serious aggression or violence? A better un- derstanding of the inner workings of couple interaction is needed to develop more sound treatments for relational dysfunction. One of these poorly understood mechanisms is the perceptual or appraisal process that occurs in a rela- tionship. Perception is one of the three core components of marital functioning (Gottman 1999). It involves interpreting and making sense of one’ s actions and one’ s partner. An appraisal is a perception that includes an element of active discernment such as the process of considering and evalu- ating the relationship and its members (Whiting 2008). When appraisals become distorted or aggressive (e.g., when a partner misinterprets the other, or when one sees the other as an object of contempt) relationship breakdown and abuse is more likely (Johnson 2008). One important area that partners evaluate is the level of safety or threat in their relationship. This study examines this process, and presents a theory of threat appraisal. Safety is traditionally understood to be freedom from harm or danger, and is a basic requirement for happiness and thriving (Everly and Lating 2004). Safety is a critical consideration within relationships, since a partner can be one of the primary sources of safety or the lack of it (Logan 2006). Perceptions of safety in a relationship may reflect stability and cohesion. For example, abusive behaviors and dynamics are a threat to safety. As such, the appraisals of these behaviors can be a barometer for abuse, aggression, and control. Concerns about safety range from small fears of This research was conducted in part with support from the College of Human Sciences, Texas Tech University. J. B. Whiting (*) : D. B. Smith Marriage and Family Therapy Program, Texas Tech University, Lubbock, TX 79409-1210, USA e-mail: jason.whiting@ttu.edu M. Oka Brigham Young University, Provo, UT, USA G. Karakurt Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH, USA J Fam Viol DOI 10.1007/s10896-012-9423-7