Sex, Space and Discourse: Non/monogamy and Intimate Privilege in the Public Sphere Nathan Rambukkana Introduction: Situating Non/monogamy This chapter is part of a project that examines discourses of monogamy and non- monogamy and their relationship with what I come to refer to as ‘intimate privilege.’ The focus of this chapter will be to outline intimate privilege and why it might be important to consider this form of privileging in discussions about non-monogamy. The broader project goes on to consider intimate privilege as arising in the interstices and intersections of other forms of privilege such as heterosexual, male, class and white privilege. Rather than argue that a privileging of monogamy over non- monogamy is an oppressive societal norm, I argue that due to the intersectionality of privileges and oppressions, some engaging in forms of non-monogamy are able to mobilize substantial socio-cultural privilege, while others are not. 1 For example, I argue that adultery, arguably the most widespread form of non- monogamy, has strong affinities with heteronormative capitalist individualism. Bonnie Zare (2001) points out that plotlines that sentimentalize adultery are central to Hollywood (p. 38), a fact she links to capitalist individualism and ever-expanding commodification (p. 33). This commodified adultery discourse, or ‘adultery industry’, also includes guides to cheating such as The 50-Mile Rule: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extramarital Etiquette (2002), and web-based cheating services such as The Ashley Madison Agency (whose slogan is ‘When Monogamy Becomes Monotony’) that run prominent ads in mainstream media. 2 Thus, as a discourse of non-monogamy, but one that receives societal recognition as a part of normal sexuality, adultery holds a certain privilege in the public sphere. 1 This holds true both across forms of non-monogamy, as well as within forms of non- monogamy, due to intersecting degrees of privilege. For example, the argument that adultery holds more privilege than polygamy or polyamory—as the former is considered part of society while the latter two (at least in Western cultural spheres) are not—can be nuanced by an understanding that subjects variously located along axes of privilege within adultery may have different experiences of it, such as working and middle class subjects, men and women, etc. 2 See <http://www.ashleymadison.com/app/public/media/index.p>.