Communicating Disappointment: The Viewpoint of Sons and Daughters Michelle Miller-Day and Josephine W. Lee Department of Speech Communication The Pennsylvania State University Despite the voluminous literature on general parenting strategies, there seems to be little systematic examination of the social psychological and communicative aspects of parental disappointment. This study examines parental strategies for communicat- ing disappointment from the point of view of sons and daughters and develops a typology. A sample of 377 undergraduates completed questionnaires about their par- ents’ strategies for communicating disappointment, the types of reasons attributed for parental disappointment messages, and their personal sense of control. Results in- dicate that although parents are reported to be generally verbally direct in their ex- pression of disappointment, mothers were reported using indirect verbal criticism and relying on nonverbal cues more often than fathers to communicate their disap- pointment. For both parents, the greater the use of indirect criticism, the more likely the child would report feeling out of control of his or her life. The links among indi- rect parental verbal criticism, parental disappointment, and child outcomes are dis- cussed and a typology of parental disappointments are provided. Yes, my mother and father are very supportive. I would say we support one another and are very close. Of course [slight chuckle] my mother is mostly supportive of the things she agrees I should do … should pursue. I know when she doesn’t really sup- port my choices, when she is disappointed in me. Most of the time she doesn’t come right out and say it, I just know. I just know when she doesn’t approve or is disap- pointed in me by her little comments, the asides, the digs, or the way she looks. I’m 6 years old all over again when I get that look [laugh]. Her expectations are very impor- tant to me and I don’t want to disappoint her. As a matter of fact, her expectations have become mine! (Eadie, age 42) 1 THE JOURNAL OF FAMILY COMMUNICATION, 1(2), 111–131 Copyright © 2001, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Michelle Miller-Day, Department of Speech Communication, The Pennsylvania State University, 234 Sparks, University Park, PA 16802. E-mail: mam32@psu.edu 1 The name of this client was changed to maintain confidentiality.