EINSTEIN CROSS-EXAMINED BY SOCRATES About his “elevator” thought-experiment recorded by Aristocles in June 2014 in the Elysian Fields, “where the good receive a life free from toil” Socrates is strolling along in the Elysian Fields deep in thought, when he espies Einstein walking in the distance. SOCRATES: Oh dear me. Look who’s here. Professor Einstein! (Shouting to get the latter’s attention). Professor Einstein! EINSTEIN: (Turning around) Yes? SOCRATES: Professor Einstein! Can I ask you a few questions? EINSTEIN: (In surprise) It’s Socrates, as I live and breathe! Or rather, as I’m dead and breathe. My goodness! You, my dear sir, are so very like your bust in the Vatican museums! SOCRATES: And you, my dear professor, are so well known that people can recognize you a mile away. But seriously: I’ve been dying to ask you a few questions about one of your thought-experiments. EINSTEIN: Dear me! Am I to be cross-examined by Socrates himself! (Wry smile). But of course. By all means carry on. In point of fact, I have often doubted my own theories, especially after the mathematicians got a hold of them! (Smiling). SOCRATES: Yes; I was told that you once uttered words to the effect, and I’m quoting from memory: “Ever since the mathematicians have attacked – that is, reformulated – Relativity Theory, I myself no longer understand it any more.” But wasn’t that just a joke? EINSTEIN: Well, only partially. You see, I was never very expert at mathematics. I did have a certain ordinary mastery of mathematics, but then, so do many other people in many other fields! But with Relativity I was helped tremendously by the mathematician Hermann Minkowski from Göttingen, Germany, who once described me – and rather correctly, I’m afraid – as a “lazy dog who never bothered about mathematics at all.” And another person who helped me with mathematics was my very good friend Marcel Grossman. Admittedly I was sometimes referred to as a “mathematician” in the popular press in the early 20th century, but that was only because the term “theoretical physicist” was not in wide popular use in the newspapers of the time. I collaborated with mathematicians like Grossman to help me with mathematical details – I had to, you see, not being very expert in the subject.