«Hvis hun er fornøyd, så blir jeg det også» – Unge menn, maskulinitet og seksualitet SOSIOLOGISK TIDSSKRIFT 299 «HVIS HUN ER FORNØYD, SÅ BLIR JEG DET OGSÅ» – UNGE MENN, MASKULINITET OG SEKSUALITET Sveinung Sandberg sveinung.sandberg@sosiologi.uio.no Camilla Jordheim Larsen c.j.larsen@sosiologi.uio.no Willy Pedersen willy.pedersen@sosiologi.uio.no «If she’s satisfied, I am» – Young men, masculinity and sexuality How do young men relate to the tension between traditional gender discourse and its feminist critique in their sexuality? We interviewed men aged 20–25, and, based on this material, two major findings are discussed. First, informants typically reveal a passive approach to their sexuality and are hesitant in taking the sexual initiative. Second, our informants are concerned about sexual performance. This is particularly evident in regard to women’s orgasm, which our informants often see as their responsibility. These findings are discussed in light of Robert W. Connell’s theory of hegemonic masculinity, and their origin sought in a discourse inspired by feminism. We argue that the passive attitude may be seen as a rejection of hegemonic masculinity. Sexually «aggressive» men have come to represent what is conceived in feminist discourse as old-fashioned and repressive. We suggest that young men may remain sexually passive in their relations with women. Fur- ther, we suggest that men’s concerns about their sexual performance could be seen as a reframing of sexual achievement in hegemonic masculinity. Based on the interviews, we propose that young men’s sense of achievement has changed from sexual conquest to sat- isfying female partners. This is particularly evident in the emphasis of our informants on the female orgasm in their reflections on own sexual practice. Our informants respond to the feminist critique at the same time as they construct a practice that confirms their mas- culinity, reaching a compromise in which hegemonic masculinity is confirmed in a new, but still traditional way. Keywords: Sexuality, masculinity, gender, discourse analysis Sosiologisk tidsskrift: VOL 12, 299–322 © Universitetsforlaget 2004