1283
When Is Being Known or Adored by Romantic
Partners Most Beneficial? Self-Perceptions,
Relationship Length, and Responses to
Partner’s Verifying and Enhancing Appraisals
Lorne Campbell
Sandra D. Lackenbauer
Amy Muise
University of Western Ontario
In this scene of Shelley’s famous play Prometheus
Unbound, he speaks of the necessity of love, of feeling
content in the knowledge that a romantic partner val-
ues you above all others. Although Shelley may have
provided a solution for experiencing lifelong happiness
(i.e., feeling loved), he did not offer his opinion regard-
ing how people might achieve this lofty goal. That task
has fallen primarily on the shoulders of relationship
researchers, and the past few decades have witnessed a
substantial amount of research attempting to discover
the factors related to intimacy and happiness in roman-
tic relationships.
When do people feel happy and intimate with their
romantic partners? Research guided from different the-
oretical perspectives has attempted to answer this ques-
tion by focusing on how people are appraised by their
partners. Adopting a self-enhancement perspective,
Murray and colleagues (Murray, Holmes, & Griffin,
1996a, 1996b) have demonstrated that people are most
satisfied when their partners perceive them more posi-
tively than they perceive themselves. Other research
guided by a self-verification perspective has shown that
Authors’ Note: This research was supported in part by a grant to the
first author from the Social Science and Humanities Research Council
of Canada (SSHRC) and also from a Premier’s Research Excellence
Award (PREA). Correspondence should be addressed to Lorne
Campbell, Department of Psychology, University of Western Ontario,
London, Ontario, Canada, N6A 5C2; e-mail: lcampb23@uwo.ca.
PSPB, Vol. 32 No. 10, October 2006 1283-1294
DOI: 10.1177/0146167206290383
© 2006 by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc.
An experiment tested the hypothesis that relationship length
moderates preferences for both verifying and enhancing
appraisals from romantic partners, particularly for people
with negative self-perceptions. One hundred and three roman-
tically involved couples participated in this research.
Participants with both negative and positive self-perceptions
were randomly assigned to receive either verifying or enhanc-
ing feedback ostensibly created through comparison of their
self-ratings and their partner’s appraisals. The critical test
was for those with negative self-ratings who received verifying
feedback. For these participants, results revealed that those in
longer relationships felt their partners were seeing the best in
them more than did those in shorter relationships, whereas the
opposite pattern of results was observed for those who were
enhanced. Individuals with negative self-ratings who were
verified also reported greater feelings of intimacy in the rela-
tionship when in long-term relationships. The importance of
relationship length in moderating responses to partner’s
appraisals is discussed.
Keywords: enhancement; verification; relationships; accuracy;
satisfaction
All love is sweet,
Given or returned. Common as light is love,
And its familiar voice wearies not ever....
They who inspire it most are fortunate,
As I am now; but those who feel it most
Are happier still.
—Percy Bysshe Shelley (1901)