Women Working Together: Understanding Women’s Relationships at Work Briefing ote umber 33 March 2011 Women’s work relationships are a complex and often con- tradictory subject. 1 Popular culture portrays women’s workplace relationships as largely negative, with women often described as catty, mean, or intrinsically untrustwor- thy. In the same vein, practitioner-oriented publications focus on women’s relational aggression and competition. 2 On the other hand, a large body of feminist literature describes women’s experiences as grounded in oppressive systems and focuses on positive contributions that women make to organizations. 3 I undertook the research reported here because I believe these polarized views do not adequately describe the full range of women’s relationship patterns in the workplace, nor do they adequately address the contextual and societal factors that might influence these patterns. I designed this research to describe a full range of patterns and answer questions such as: How might the workplace context be contributing to women’s experiences with other women? How might gender socialization be influencing these pat- terns of relationship? What types of individual and organi- zational changes could be made to address issues that arise? Overview of the Research Using a methodology that involved role-plays, group dis- cussions, and in-depth interviews, I studied the work experiences of a diverse group of 115 women in a wide range of work environments (technology, financial servic- es, nursing, government, academia, non-profit, etc.) in the U.S., Spain, and Mexico. I found a continuum of patterns of behavior among women, from positive to negative, in the context of organizational cultures that value and reward masculine behaviors. The study reveals a clash between friendship expectations that women carry into the workplace and the masculine norms that dominate most workplace cultures. It also provides a more accurate and positive understanding of the origins of some patterns of relationship stereotypically seen as negative, such as con- flict avoidance, gossip, and indirect communication. This research also uncovers some positive elements of women’s behavior in the workplace previously only seen as nega- tive and adds new language, “transknit- ting,” to name a pat- tern of behavior that could be leveraged as an asset for both women and the organizations in which they work. This study also sheds light on sabotage behaviors. By deep- ening our understand- ing of the origins of dysfunctional pat- terns, and describing previously over- looked positive pat- terns, this research suggests that if women gain aware- ness and develop skills, they can change their work environments and enhance their capacity to support each other. Two Overarching Frameworks: Friendship Rules in a “Man’s World” and Internalized egative Stereotypes Two overarching frameworks provide the context for the findings in this study. The first framework is Friendship Rules in a “Man’s World.” Scholar Joan Acker has described the gendered workplace as one where patterns of advantage and disadvantage between men and women, masculine and feminine are structured into the very fabric of the way the institution functions. 4 In other words, mas- culine norms of behavior are privileged or rewarded, while feminine norms are devalued or discouraged. It is into this How might the work- place context be con- tributing to women’s experiences with other women? How might gender socialization be influencing these pat- terns of relationship? What types of individ- ual and organizational changes could be made to address issues that arise?