Friends with Beneits
PAUL A. MONGEAU, LISA J. VAN RAALTE,
MARK ALAN GENEROUS, and LORI A.
BEDNARCHIK
Arizona State University, USA
he term “friends with beneits relationship”
(FWBR) is used primarily on college cam-
puses to describe relationships where friends
(who do not identify their relationship as dat-
ing or romantic in nature) engage in repeated
sexual interactions. As such, FWBRs rep-
resent a relational hybrid that attempts to
combine the best of both friendships (e.g.,
trust, comfort, and closeness) and romantic
relationships (particularly sexual interac-
tions), but eschew the emotional upheaval
and chaos frequently experienced in the
latter. his entry places FWBRs in a historical
context and then describes the nuances of
FWBRs.
Friends with beneits represent one of the
most recent premarital sexual practices that
have emerged among heterosexuals. Over
the past century, perhaps the only constant
element of sexual interaction in heterosex-
ual premarital relational development is
change (Bailey 1988). hrough much of the
twentieth century, premarital interaction
focused upon the date. Dates were typically
prearranged social events (normally initi-
ated by the male) that centered on activities
performed outside the home such as having
dinner and dancing together. By the 1970s,
the dominant premarital norm considered
sexual interaction to be appropriate only in
the context of a close, intimate, romantic
relationship. Sexual interaction was typically
understood as relecting the intimacy of the
dating relationship. Although casual sex did
he Wiley Blackwell Encyclopedia of Family Studies, First Edition. Edited by Constance L. Shehan.
© 2016 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Published 2016 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
DOI: 10.1002/9781119085621.wbefs500
occur at this time, it was considered relatively
inappropriate (especially for women).
Several scholars have asserted that, since
the early 1990s, a “hookup” norm has (on
college campuses, at least) largely supplanted
the dating norm (Bogle 2008). Hookups were
initially deined as single sexual interactions
between strangers or acquaintances without
any expectation of future sexual episodes or
interactions of any kind. More recent research
suggests that hookups occur in a variety of
relational contexts and relect a number of
relational (and nonrelational) implications
(Epstein et al. 2009). Hookups occur fre-
quently as a majority of college-aged students
have experience with this sexual interaction.
Although sexual interaction certainly still
occurs in premarital romantic relationships,
it is considerably more acceptable to have
sexual interactions in nonrelational contexts
than it was until late in the twentieth century.
Another popular sexual practice involved
in the college hookup norm is FWBRs.
he FWBR label emerged in the late 1990s
describing two friends who engage in sexual
interactions, but do not consider their rela-
tionship to be romantic in nature. FWBRs
difer from hookups because FWBR partners
engage in communicative interactions in
addition to having sex (although this is not
always the case). he ongoing friendship
makes FWBRs simultaneously appealing (i.e.,
they provide a safe partner and environment
within which to have sex) and typically ends
up being quite complicated.
he sexual interaction in FWBRs is typi-
cally described as occurring with no strings
attached. his indicates that partners’ sexual
interactions are separated from any roman-
tic expectations, feelings, or motivations.
Also, no strings attached suggests that sexual