When parents love and don’t love their children: some children’s stories Heather D’Cruz* and Karen Stagnitti† *Senior Lecturer in Social Work, Deakin University, School of Health and Social Development, Geelong, Victoria, and †Associate Professor in Occupational Science and Therapy, Deakin University, School of Health and Social Development, Geelong, Victoria, Australia ABSTRACT This paper discusses a small pilot study with Anglo-Australian children aged 6 to 8 years. The children expressed through stories of what it meant for them when parents love and care for their children, and when they do not. Themes from stories of parental love and care included: relationships, shared special times, being safe and pro- tected, and physical affection. Stories about parents who did not love or care for their children covered themes of abandonment, isolation and sadness. The study contributes an approach that can improve professional practice with children and early outcomes showing the importance of seeking children’s perspectives in decision-making about their welfare. Correspondence: Heather D’Cruz, Deakin University, School of Health and Social Development, 1 Gheringhap Street, Geelong, Victoria 3217, Australia E-mail: heather.dcruz@deakin.edu.au Keywords: child-centred practice, children’s stories, parental love and care, participatory practice Accepted for publication: September 2009 Published online: October 2009 INTRODUCTION This paper discusses a small pilot study with Anglo- Australian children aged between 6 and 8 years. Through stories, the children expressed what it means when parents love and care for their children, and when they do not.The focus on parental love and care from the child’s point of view is specifically intended because these are concepts that inform and influence child welfare and child protection policy and practice. It is rare that children’s views about being parented are sought, and if they are, they are subjected to profes- sionally derived definitions, not those that represent their own experience within their own family (Wattam & Parton 1999; Willow et al. 2004). The appropriate- ness of parenting is usually defined by professionals and includes normative assumptions about ‘love’ and ‘care’ of the child and how these are expressed as parenting practices.Those parents who are assessed as not meeting these norms may be subjected to various professional interventions including parental educa- tion and training, and possibly the removal of their child into temporary or permanent alternative care. In this paper, it is argued that by understanding children’s perspectives, we may develop a more nuanced approach towards children’s well-being, which takes account of children’s views. The out- comes discussed here are part of a larger study involv- ing children, parents and professionals that aims to investigate participatory and child-centred profes- sional practice by critically evaluating and developing for professional practice the practical meanings of the concepts of ‘participation’ and ‘child-centredness’ (D’Cruz & Stagnitti 2008), and the contextual condi- tions under which such concepts are meaningful. PARTICIPATORY AND CHILD-CENTRED PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE The ‘child’ in child welfare/protection is often seen as a dependent waif on whose behalf professionals rep- resenting ‘the state’ intervene (Wattam & Parton 1999; Scott & Swain 2002). Professional intervention is primarily conceptualised as paternalism and rescue of the child as an object of interest, on whose behalf various adults (professionals, parents/caregivers) speak, act and give meaning to the child’s lived expe- riences (Wattam & Parton 1999). An alternative perspective has argued for child-centredness, which includes concepts of children’s rights and liberation doi:10.1111/j.1365-2206.2009.00662.x 216 Child and Family Social Work 2010, 15, pp 216–225 © 2009 Blackwell Publishing Ltd