GENDER & SOCIETY, Vol XX No. X, Month, XXXX 1–23
DOI: 10.1177/0891243216679121
© 2016 by The Author(s)
BLINDED BY LOVE:
Women, Men, and Gendered Age in
Relationship Stories
CRISTEN DALESSANDRO
AMY C. WILKINS
University of Colorado Boulder, USA
While young people today expect gender equity in relationships, inequality persists. In this
article, we use interviews with 25 young adults (ages 22 to 32) to investigate the link
between gender meanings, age meanings, and continued inequality in relationships.
Middle-class young adults tell relationship stories in a gender and age context that both
reflect and perpetuate ideas about adult masculinity and femininity. While women often
tell stories of poor treatment in relationships, they are able to reclaim agency over their
experiences and believe that they can solve their relationship problems by understanding
their experiences as part of the normative path to adult womanhood. In contrast, men are
able to explain their bad relationship behavior by attributing that behavior to youth and
immaturity. By telling these stories, both women and men imagine that growing up will fix
gender inequalities, obfuscating the persistence of gender inequalities in later adulthood.
This work sheds light on the way narratives of age contribute to the persistence of gender
inequality in romantic relationships.
Keywords: emotions; identities; aging/life course; sexuality; relationship stories
C
ontemporary middle-class young adults face a conundrum: They
expect equal relationships, but mostly do not have them (Bell 2013;
Eaton and Rose 2011; England 2010; Gerson 2010; Hochschild 1989;
679121GAS XX X 10.1177/0891243216679121GENDER & SOCIETYDalessandro and Wilkins / BLINDED BY LOVE
research-article 2016
AUTHORS’ NOTE: This article was presented at the annual meeting of the American
Sociological Association in Chicago, IL, and at the Culture, Power, and Inequality
Workshop at the University of Colorado Boulder. We would also like to thank Catherine
Bowman, Nicole Lambert, and Jennifer Pace for their comments on earlier drafts of this
article. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Cristen
Dalessandro, Department of Sociology, UCB 327, Ketchum 195, Boulder, CO 80309,
USA; e-mail: cristen.dalessandro@colorado.edu.
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