Social Exclusion and the Desire to Reconnect C. Nathan DeWall* and Stephanie B. Richman University of Kentucky Abstract People have a fundamental need to belong that, when satisfied, is linked to a variety of indicators of well-being. The current article discusses what happens when social relationships go awry, namely through social exclusion. It seeks to resolve discrepancies in the literature by proposing that responses to social exclusion depend primarily on the prospect of social acceptance. When people feel socially excluded, they want to regain acceptance and thus may respond in ways that can help them do so. When the possibility of acceptance is not forthcoming, however, socially excluded people become selfish and antisocial. Evidence for this pattern was found at behavioral, cognitive, and biological levels. The motivation to gain acceptance may drive people to engage in negative health behaviors, such as smoking. Thus, excluded people demonstrate sensitivity to possible social acceptance, but they can exude an air of selfishness and hostility when there is no possibility of satisfying their need to belong. Social Exclusion and the Desire to Reconnect Over the course of human evolutionary history, people have depended on others for much of their well-being. People who were motivated to form positive and lasting rela- tionships with others survived and reproduced, whereas loners and hermits generally did not. As human cultural systems progressed, dependence on others continued to grow. In most modern cultures, people do not cook the food they eat, knit the clothes they wear, or build the homes in which they live. Other people meet these needs. Given the tre- mendous benefits associated with social connection, experiencing social exclusion strikes at the core of well-being. Yet, there is some disagreement regarding how people respond to social exclusion. 1 The current article seeks to resolve these discrepancies by reviewing classic and con- temporary research showing that responses to social exclusion depend on the prospect of social acceptance. Social exclusion occurs when people feel left out, snubbed, or other- wise rejected. People feel socially excluded when they are made to feel that they do not belong in a relationship or to a group. Because social exclusion poses such a serious threat to well-being, it should influence a wide variety of responses. When people feel socially excluded, they may respond in ways that can gain them acceptance. When the possibility of acceptance is not forthcoming, however, socially excluded people may become selfish and even antisocial. The paper consists of five sections. First, we review theoretical models of belonging- ness that emphasize the importance of the desire for acceptance in driving responses to social exclusion. Second, we discuss evidence that socially excluded people engage in self- ish and antisocial behaviors when there is no palpable promise of acceptance, but they behave unselfishly and prosocially when doing so can earn them acceptance. Third, we demonstrate that social exclusion influences cognitive responses to ward off potential threats and to approach potential new friends. Fourth, we discuss evidence that biological Social and Personality Psychology Compass 5/11 (2011): 919–932, 10.1111/j.1751-9004.2011.00383.x ª 2011 The Authors Social and Personality Psychology Compass ª 2011 Blackwell Publishing Ltd