Chapter 4 Waiting to Speak: A Phenomenological Perspective on Our Silence Around Dying Kirsten Jacobson Abstract Drawing from existential and empirical accounts, I consider the pain that relates to our recognition of our own mortality, especially focusing on our con- temporary silence around mortality and our tendencies to generalize and medicalize death. Examining Heidegger ’s distinction between “ontic” structures concealing death and the “ontological” significance underlying this concealing, I argue that, though this silence arises from our way of being-in-the-world, there are reasons for challenging institutional and social structures pushing us to cover over death and the existential suffering associated with it. I argue it is incumbent upon the medical community specifically, and ultimately all of us, to respond to silence surrounding dying by cultivating practices of listening, thereby opening possibilities for a more authentic relationship to our dying. Keywords Martin Heidegger Á Being-towards-death Á Existential health Á Anxiety Á Dying Á Medicalization In this chapter, I use existential authors—Martin Heidegger, Rainer Maria Rilke, and J.H. van den Berg—as well as empirical discussions from medical practitioners and patients to consider the pain that relates to our recognition of our own mortality, focusing especially on ways in which contemporary silence around our mortality as well as our related tendencies to generalize and medicalize death often work toward covering over this pain. Drawing especially on Heidegger, and his distinction between the “ontic” or worldly structures that conceal the nature of our death and the “onto- logical” or existential significance underlying this concealing, I ultimately argue that, though this silence arises from the existential depths of our way of being-in-the-world, there are nonetheless reasons for addressing this by challenging the worldly institu- tional and social structures that push us toward this covering over of the experience of dying. I argue it is incumbent upon the medical community specifically, and all of us more broadly, to respond to this silence around dying by cultivating practices of listening, and thereby to open up possibilities for a more authentic relationship to our K. Jacobson (&) University of Maine, Orono, USA e-mail: kirsten.jacobson@maine.edu © Springer India 2016 S.K. George and P.G. Jung (eds.), Cultural Ontology of the Self in Pain, DOI 10.1007/978-81-322-2601-7_4 75 kirsten.jacobson@maine.edu