Positive Illusions in Parenting:
Every Child Is Above Average
A W
Pinecrest, Florida
B J. F
1
Department of Educational and
Psychological Studies
University of Miami
This study examined the paradox between the difficulties of parenting and the high
levels of parenting satisfaction in terms of positive illusions. Results were consistent
with a positive illusions model, as biological parents with a child between the ages of
2 and 5 reported unrealistically positive views of their children. They rated their own
children as possessing more positive and less negative attributes than the average
child. The more positively parents rated themselves, the more positively they rated
their children. Parents’ self-esteem scores, unrealistically positive ratings of the child,
and positive illusions of parenting were related to 3 aspects of the parenting experi-
ence. This study extends the literature on positive illusions to encompass parents’
positive illusions about their young children.
There is an interesting disconnect in the parenting literature and in
parents’ reports on their experiences between the manifest strain of parenting
and very high levels of reported parenting satisfaction. On the one hand,
raising a child exacts tremendous resources and requires significant sacrifices
from parents in financial, emotional, and physical costs. The very real sacri-
fices that comprise the parenting experience seem to be curiously absent in the
empirical parenting literature. Instead, the idea that parenting is one of the
most difficult, challenging, and important jobs often is mentioned only briefly
by most researchers as an introductory statement, without being investigated
more thoroughly. On the other hand, nearly all Americans choose to become
parents, many apparently desiring the satisfactions that they expect will make
the long and arduous parenting effort personally worthwhile (Goetting, 1986;
U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2003). Indeed, parents overwhelmingly report
that they are satisfied with parenting, in spite of the difficulties associated
with this role.
The almost unanimous decision to have children and widespread self-
reported satisfaction with parenting stands in stark contrast to the facts that
1
Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Andrew Wenger, 1501
Venera Ave., Suite 230, Coral Gables, FL 33146. E-mail: andrewwenger@aol.com.
611
Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 2008, 38, 3, pp. 611–634.
© 2008 Copyright the Authors
Journal compilation © 2008 Blackwell Publishing, Inc.