Home School Researcher Volume 35, No.2, 2020, p. 1-5 1 PERSPECTIVES – News and Comments 1,1 Marilynne Robinson and My Mother: Phenomenological Reflections on Endings in Parenting and Teaching Peter M. Nelson Michigan State University, East Lansing, Michigan, nelso700@msu.edu Abstract Parenting and teaching are relational acts; the relationship between a parent and child, a teacher and student—this is fertile ground, and some of our most meaningful and foundational experiences stem from these connections (van Manen, 2016). This paper aims to examine one such experience through a methodological lens that puts curriculum theory into conversation with the phenomenological (Rafferty, 2011): specifically, the lived-experience of children leaving, of the endings that are inevitably bound up with the practices of parenting and teaching. Reflecting upon our experiences as children and students might enrich our present-day practice as parents and teachers (Dewey, 1938/1997; Pinar, 1975); stemming from this, a phenomenological interview I conducted with my mother guides this paper, and my own experiences as a child and student are also brought to bear. This paper concludes with suggestions that diverge in two directions: (1) what an attunement to the phenomenon of children leaving might offer our practice as teachers, and (2) how this type of reflective and intentional self-analysis—a sort of qualitative research that is reflexive and open—might allow our work as parents and teachers to flourish in new and previously undisclosed ways. Keywords: homeschooling, ending, children leaving, phenomenology, curriculum theory At the very root of me I know this; I know this! What a broad world to roam in, what a sea to swim in. So I begin with the end in mind. —Norma Jean, Disconnecktie (Brandan, 2005) As I type these words, making final edits on this paper on endings in parenting and teaching, I am preparing to say goodbye to my students, future social studies teachers I have taught for almost two years in an undergraduate teacher education program. While their questions, desires, and anxieties about teaching have shifted, they are still nervous, unsure of what they’ve actually learned; this absence of some thing they can point to or grab hold of to demonstrate their growth is bothersome. It runs contrary to a professional culture built on credentials and marketable skills. Indeed, it seems this practice called teaching is tricky to pin down to a list of skills or maneuvers, a slippery fact that becomes all the more obvious as a particular ending approaches—the conclusion of one’s teacher education (Britzman, 2003). 1 The “Perspectives – News and Comments” section of this journal consists of articles that are not considered “peer- reviewed.” My mom knows this well; she homeschooled my siblings and me for 15 years and even now, as we talked about the end of her time as our teacher, she wasn’t sure she “…ever really had a hold on it…on teaching” She said, When I look back, now that it’s done, I have a lot of regrets. Emotionally, I didn’t have the patience I would have liked, and some of this is personal; we all have our own baggage, but I’m still not sure there was a time I felt like I had it mastered, so while I’m proud of you guys there’s still a sense I could have…maybe…done better? These paradoxes of what it means to learn how to teach clash with contemporary demands for measurable learning outcomes and teacher preparation programs saturated with data. It is a collision between neoliberal education policies and what Freud called an impossible profession, the maddening, interminable nature of education (Britzman, 1998; Felman, 1982). As a teacher educator and doctoral candidate in my 10 th year of teaching, it’s easy to say I’ve learned a lot about my own practice as a teacher, but perhaps it’s more accurate—albeit less