In: H. Reis & S. Sprecher (Eds.) Encyclopedia of Human Relationships 1 Citation: Hargie, O. (2009) Listening. In: H. Reis & S. Sprecher (Eds.) Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. New York: Sage (pp. 982-985). Listening The average person does not actually speak for long periods in each day, and listening is the predominant interpersonal activity. It is crucially important in the formation, development and maintenance of relationships. The child learns to listen before learning to speak, learns to speak before learning to read, and learns to read before learning to write. Listening is therefore a fundamental pre-requisite skill upon which other skills are predicated. Yet, many relationship problems are caused by ineffective listening. Reading and writing skills have a low correlation and the same probably holds for speaking and listening skills. Indeed, we often listen with the intention of responding rather than with the intention of understanding. To respond appropriately, we need to give concerted attention to the speaker’s communications. It is through listening that we accumulate the information and insights required for effective relational decision-making. This entry examines listening in terms of its conceptualization, measurement, typologies, behavioral manifestations, and covert techniques. Conceptualization and Measurement The term ‘listen’ is derived from two Anglo-Saxon words, hylstan (hearing) and hlosnian (wait in suspense). However, there is considerable debate about the exact meaning of the term. Different definitions emphasize either the covert cognitive aspect, or the overt behavioral dimension, associated with listening. Thus, some definitions focus upon the cognitive auditory processes involved in sensing, storing, and interpreting oral messages. This perspective distinguishes hearing from listening. Hearing is perceived as a physical activity whereas listening is a mental process. Just as most of us use our visual