RESEARCH ARTICLE Reassuring sex: Can sexual desire and intimacy reduce relationship- specific attachment insecurities? Moran Mizrahi*, Gilad Hirschberger*, Mario Mikulincer*, Ohad Szepsenwol† & Gurit E. Birnbaum* * Interdisciplinary Center (IDC), Herzliya, Israel † University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA Correspondence Moran Mizrahi, School of Psychology, Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya, PO Box 167, Herzliya 46150, Israel. E-mail: miz.moran@gmail.com Received: 4 December 2014 Accepted: 4 December 2015 http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2184 Keywords: attachment, gender differences, intimacy, romantic relationships, sexual desire Abstract Past research has shown that attachment orientations shape sexual processes within relationships. Yet, little has been done to explore the opposite direction. In the present research, we examined whether sexual desire and emotional intimacy reduce attachment insecurities over time in emerging relationships. In an 8-month longitudinal study, we followed 62 newly dating couples across three measurement waves. At Time 1, romantic partners discussed sexual aspects of their relationship and judges coded their displays of sexual desire and intimacy. Participants also completed measures of relationship-specific attachment anxiety and avoidance in each wave. The results indicated that men’s displays of desire predicted a decline in their own and their partner’s relationship-specific insecurities. Conversely, women’s displays of desire inhibited the decline in their partner’s relationship-specific insecurities, whereas women’s displays of intimacy predicted a decline in their partner’s relationship-specific insecurities. These findings suggest that different sex- related processes underlie attachment formation in men and women. The attachment system is the earliest developing social–behavioral system (Cassidy, 1999). As such, it plays a crucial role in shaping the functioning of the sexual system (e.g., Belsky, Steinberg, & Draper, 1991; Del Giudice, 2009). Nevertheless, not only can the sexual system be influenced by attachment processes, but it can also affect them by fostering the development of emotional bonds between sexual partners (Birnbaum, 2014, 2015; Birnbaum & Finkel, 2015; Hazan & Zeifman, 1994). Past research has indeed provided substantial evidence for the contribution of attachment orientations to sexual processes in romantic relationships (see reviews by Birnbaum, 2010, 2015; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). However, relatively little has been done to explore the reverse direction of influ- ence: from sexual to attachment processes. The present research sought to fill this gap by examining whether and how expressions of sexual desire and emotional intimacy, which are key components of sexual activity (see reviews by Birnbaum, 2014, 2015), contribute to changes in relationship-specific attachment insecurities in emerging relationships over time. Attachment and Sex in Romantic Relationships According to attachment theory, the quality of interac- tions with early attachment figures in times of need gradually shapes chronic patterns of relational expecta- tions and goals (Bowlby, 1982). Interactions with attachment figures who are responsive to one’s needs facilitate optimal functioning of the attachment system, which is manifested in secure attachment and charac- terized by a sense of self-worth and striving for intimate and mutual nurturing relationships. Interactions with unresponsive close others, in contrast, result in the adoption of one of two defensive strategies for coping with the ensuing negative affect (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). Hyperactivation of the attachment system, which is manifested in anxious attachment, is intended to motivate insufficiently responsive attachment figures to pay attention and provide care and support. Con- versely, deactivation of the attachment system, which is manifested in avoidant attachment, is aimed to maintain emotional distance and self-reliance in close relationships (Main, 1990; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). Although the functioning of the attachment system is primarily important within early life stages, when it promotes the survival chances of a helpless infant, the attachment system keeps guiding personal and interpersonal experiences over the entire life span (Bowlby, 1982). Accordingly, early-developing attach- ment strategies further guide close relationships in adulthood and affect the desired levels of closeness with romantic partners (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007, 2012). As such, they may shape the regulatory functioning of the later-developing sexual system (Belsky et al., 1991; Del Giudice, 2009; Shaver, Hazan, & Bradshaw, 1988). European Journal of Social Psychology 46 (2016) 467–480 Copyright © 2016 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. 467 EJSP